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Learn How To Starve The Vampire/Break Up

 
 STARVE THE VAMPIRE–WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT….Pathological persons are energy and emotional vampires. They
live off of your emotional content. Part of their personality
deficit is the lack of a stable and consistent inner core of a
self concept so they need constant attention, distraction, and
identity management from which they draw their identity.Lots of their identity is acquired from their relationships since
internally there is so little core self to draw from. This is part
of the reason they are so exhausting. In order to get their
emotional ‘blood supply’ from you, they ‘hook you’ into
conversations or arguements or any kind of response they can get
from you. They live vicariously thru your own emotional
expressions of love, frustration, confusion, etc. It doesn’t
always matter ‘what’ emotion is fed to the vampire (although
narcissists like adoration) but just that there is SOME content is
enough for them–even your tears, or your screams, or your
insults. It doesn’t matter…they just ‘need’ something, anything
from you in the way of content. If they dont’ get the blood
supply/emotional content from you, they will seek elsewhere.
(Remember Dracula? He just moved from town to town taking it where
he could get it?)When you begin to break up (read my How to Break Up With a
Dangerous Man E-book) he will fear the loss of emotional supply.
He won’t fear losing you so much as he will getting his identity
and his sense of self from you and/or the relationship. He fears
the loss of self or ‘who am I without her?’ This is a very
fragmented ego state –one which only exists thru relationships
with others.
So when you try to break up, he will continue to contact you which
is why they are hard to break up with (read my book). They are
predictable in their approaches to get you to respond to them (you
are feeding the vampire his emotional blood supply every time you
talk to him). These are some of his approaches and if you can get
a bag of popcorn and just watch it like it was a LifeTime for
Women movie and detach from it, you will see a whole movie pan out
like this:

* One contact he’s angry, blaming, shaming
When you don’t respond to that verbally or emotionally (think like
you are lobotomized with no facial expression…that’s what I want
women to do with these men)

* Then one contact will be sweet, loving, buy you things
When you don’t respond

* He will promise to do what you’ve asked for years…go to
counseling, church, take meds, be nice, go to anger management
When you don’t respond

* He will get angry again–say you aren’t working on the relate
which is why it’s gonna fail
When you don’t respond

* He will quit calling for a while to make it look like he’s moved
on (They are boomerangs, they ALWAYS come back a few times.)
When you don’t respond

* He will indicate he found someone else or had sex with someone
else
When you don’t respond

(Are you enjoying the popcorn and movie about now??)

* He becomes ’sick’ — he doesn’t know what this mysterious
illness is, or he has prostate cancer, MS, some other lethal
disease
When you don’t respond

* He will just go back to drinking/drugging/dealing/driving too
fast/etc.
When you don’t respond

* He will kill himself, leave the area, never see you again
When you don’t respond

* He will take the kids, drag your a*ss thru court, threaten to
physically harm you
When you don’t respond

* He will tell you he’s dating someone you hate or his previous
girlfriend/wife
When you don’t respond

* It will come full circle and will begin again, at the top of
this list.

When I do phone counseling, it’s all the same stories. I know that
women think that their experiences are unique. But pathology is
all the same–these people aren’t very creative and don’t deviate
much from the strict internal structure that is associated with
pathology. They ONLY react in certain ways so for me, it’s pretty
easy to predict. Once you are able to understand this, you can
predict his sad/silly/stupid reactions to a break up.

Since they live off of your emotion and NEED it, the sooner you
starve him out by having no contact and if you have to because of
your kids, no words exchanged and no emotional content on your
face, the vampire will flee to the next available source to be
fed.

When women don’t disconnect once they understand the feeding and
maintenance of pathologicals, they are doing it because SHE wants
to remain. The ball is then in your court to figure out where you
are still hung up so you can disconnect. This is not a judgment
about women not being able to leave. It is a POINTER to a place
where the dis-engagment has hit a snag. Simply notice where the
snag IS so that something can be done.

As soon as you are ready to really make the break, buy the Break
Up book and then STARVE THE VAMPIRE.

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