The stories we solicit under Once Upon A Time…are stories that will be told here, on Dangerous Du Jour. 
As opposed to what we would like to believe about our choices in relationships, we don’t just ‘accidentally’ stumble into dangerous relationships. We are often trained early in childhood to be attracted to and accept dangerous behavior as normal.  
Then later in life we make a choice to be with a dangerous person, we ignore our red flags, we say ‘yes’ to the relationship, we see things that bother us, we ignore those things again, and we continue in the relationship anyway. What makes us vulnerable in our selections of dangerous relationships is what we must come to understand so we can change ourselves. 
Dangerous Men (or women) are not ‘upfront confessors.’ They don’t come marked on their foreheads that they are dangerous. There is a time we enter in the relationship blindly UNTIL we begin to figure out what about the person is just not adding up. These red flags are our Point Verge—the point of change where we can make choices—Ignore and Stay OR Face it and Go.  
Dangerous Du Jour is where we take a closer look at someone’s story, what they learned, how they survived, and where they are today in understanding dangerous relationships. What a gift it is for others to share their stories so that we all might learn and be safe from dangerous choices!  
The stories will be changing throughout the year and will focus on one of the eight categories that we consider ‘dangerous.’ 
KARI’s STORY
Steve and I met in the spring of 1978. It was love at first sight.
We were teenagers, I was a 16 and he was 18. Our romance lasted
until he left the state to attend college the end of that summer.
We were each other’s first love, a bond that is never forgotten. We
saw each other a few times over the next 28 years and it wasn’t until
happenstance we connected by a fluke and the timing was right for
both of us and I happened to be moving to the same city he had been
residing in for years. We connected immediately and picked up where
we had left off so many years ago.

I was in love like I had never been and Steve felt the same way, so I
thought. Today I wonder if a psychopath is capable of feeling, let
alone harbors a conscience.

He was always good to me. So good to me I couldn’t believe it was
true. He masked his true intent until I was completely committed,
his true motive revealed to me a year later is one of a gold digger,
a parasite.

He has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder coupled with
addiction, but I feel there is much more chaos inside his brain yet
to be labeled.

He has a unrealistic sense of entitlement. He feels what I have
earned is his. All his follies are someone else’s fault. He never
take’s responsibility for his actions and often fabricates his
successes.

He has failed to pay child support for his children to my surprise
from a previous marriage and been put in jail, yet still claims the
ex wife should be responsible because she makes more money, yet he
insists he is the best father in the world and nothing is more
important than his children.

The Lithium makes little difference. He will still lie, cheat, steel
and is better at disappearing than Harry Houdini himself.

There is no reasoning with a psychopath. Like an addict they
will intentionally start discord to create an excuse for their bad
behavior. And of course they will blame their behavior on you.

He has made me lose faith in myself, all in an attempt to control
me. I haven’t slept through the night for over a year. Steve
insisted it was my hormones and all the feelings of anger I feel
toward him are all from my hormones changing as I enter menopause.
Blame placing, don’t you see.

I quit school, because I couldn’t focus and I couldn’t focus because
I couldn’t sleep because of the constant lies and manipulation. He
made me question my sanity as he constantly told me I was crazy, and
all of our problems stem from me.

I have cried and laughed at the same time, each time wondering who
I have become. I no longer recognize the woman that stands before me
in the mirror. I feel as if my spirit has been surgically
extracted. I can’t work and have been living on my savings.

He is abusive emotionally, and now physically. He sat on me and
pinned me for hours because I would not pay HIS phone bill. I
required x-rays and several trips to the chiropractor as I couldn’t
walk. Where were the police all the times I pleaded for help ?
Steve knows how to hurt me without being caught. The police would
not press charges because there were no witnesses and they couldn’t
see my back pain. They considered it a simple domestic dispute and
asked Steve to leave for 24 hours and then had the gall to ask me if
he could use my vehicle.

He would lie to the police officer’s faces, looking straight into
their eyes and say I was abusing him ! I was nearly arrested. I
was nearly arrested for abuse and he would continue to live in MY
house for free, driving my vehicles, eating my food and taking
everything that is mine. There has been no justice.

I have been asking him to leave my home, the home he has never
contributed to for 15 months. He won’t leave. The police told me if
he receives his mail at my address he is a resident and there is
nothing they can do. Try the court house they said. The court house
said there is nothing they can do, try the Superior Court, the
Superior Court says I need to hire an attorney, the first attorney
said I can’t help you but I can recommend someone, only to find out
he can’t help me and I once again have been referred to yet another
attorney who said all I can do is file a restraining order if he
hurts me again.

What if he leaves me crippled ? What if he kills me ? Must there
be blood and broken bones to receive justice ?

I have changed the locks, he breaks in, the police reprimand me
because he is a resident because he gets his mail at my address.
Never mind he has never paid rent or utilities to live there.

I am changing the garage door remotes tomorrow because he lets the
air out of my tires if I don’t let him in. Where are the
police ??? They said I could have let the air out of my tires and
its his word against mine.

My only hope is he is killed while driving drunk. The odds are in
my favor as he does it all the time. Then and only then will I be
free.

My only recourse is to leave the state and start my life over
somewhere Steve can’t find me. He will never leave me alone as long
as I live in this house.

Tell your reader Sandra, this is very real and it can happen to
them. I consider myself an intelligent woman, but that doesn’t
matter, there are charming con men out there who will manipulate and
lie and always create doubt in yourself until it is too late and the
life you had planned no longer exists.

Thank you for your time, and I hope I can prevent another woman going
through what I have.

Sincerely, Kari